So, let's start with the morning festivities:
9:30
I tried to hold my nose last weekend to tune in for the ABC/ESPN Game-of-the-Week Infommercial (a/k/a Gameday) because it was at Auburn. Well, I made it about fifteen minutes and realized it was still an over-hyped waste of my time. Corso still acted like the bastard love-child of Lou Holtz and Dick Vitale. Herbstreit still dazzled me with his highlights (hair, not video). And Chris Fowler still had that same frozen smile on his face that couldn't completely hide the pain of being stuck on this low-wrung of his career ladder.
This weekend: Relax, maybe watch pool tournament re-runs on ESPN Classic. It will be more entertaining than the alternative.
11:00
Texas at Nebraska (ABC): This game looks a lot better now than it did at the beginning of the season. Texas and Nebraska have quality records and quality players.
But, Texas has the best QB name (Colt McCoy) since fabled righty-gunslinger Brock Nutter guided the Fighting Troy State Trojans over Mississippi State in 2001.
Assuming Callahan doesn't fold up in the fetal position after halftime, 2 Beer.
Wisconsin at Purdue (ESPN): The Pain Train has a new conductor, and his name is P.J. Hill. As noted in an earlier post, he enjoys long walks on the beach, introspective conversations, and tearing the spleen out of anyone that gets in his way. Purdue is giving up 190 yards of rushing per game against BCS opponents. This could get ugly. And I'll definitely be watching. 2 Beer
Illinois at Penn State (ESPN 2): Mr. Magoo will have no mercy on the Zookster. Three sips of 1 Beer.
11:30
Ole Miss at Arkansas (JP): Ole Miss, you had your chance. You played well against bama last week but just couldn't get it done. This week, Ole Miss is reportedly going to be without several key defensive players due to injury, along with solid (meaning, their best) wideout Dexter McCluster.
Arkansas players, it's time to implement the offense Cutcliffe used while at Ole Miss: Hand off to the left, hand off to the right. Trust me, the irony will not be missed on the Ole Miss faithful. 1.5 Beer (just because I'm an SEC homer).
1:30
UCLA @ Notre Dame (NBC): Since half of this matchup is PAC10, while the other half involves one of the more overhyped programs in the history of college football, I'll flip to this game in between commercials. Sorry. It will probably be a good game. It just doesn't interest me.
I'm sure ESPN will have Full-360 coverage of Brady Quinn throughout the day. I'll just borrow Beano Cook's TIVO of the "action" and catch up on the game later. 2 sips of 1 Beer.
2:30
Iowa at Michigan (ABC): Man, this game sounded like it would be a ballbreaker four weeks ago. Now, not so much. Losing to Indiana will do that.
Honestly, Michigan is arguably the best team in the country (the other would be Ohio State). They should have no problem with an Iowa team that, I'll repeat, LOST TO FREAKIN' INDIANA. Kirk Ferentz, I don't think I've ever seen one game destroy a coaching reputation like that one. Luckily, no one pays much attention to Iowa. Maybe everyone missed it.
Half a Beer.
Alabama at Tennessee (CBS): Autumn is here. Leaves begin to turn, the wind has a little bite. And two evil forces converge in Knoxville, surrounded by a sea of rednecks. Like This Guy.
I expect a hard-fought game. bama shut down a very good back (Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis) in the second half of the Ole Miss game. I don't think Tennessee has a running back as good as Green-Ellis. In fact, Green-Ellis has rushed for more yards than Tennessee's top two leading rushers combined. bama may very well shut down Tennessee's not-so-vaunted rushing attack.
That would leave Ainge to carry the offense, something he is certainly capable of doing. Ainge is a completely different quarterback under the tutelage of Cutcliffe. He makes good reads and currently has a mind-boggling 171.57 qb rating, with 14 touchdowns to just 5 interceptions. Even though bama has played stout pass D, they haven't faced a QB as good as Ainge all year.
Offensively, for bama, Darby has woken up over the past few weeks. He is running with the authority he showed last year. I expect to see much of the same against Tennessee. The flipside is that John Parker Wilson may not have the luxury of tossing prayer passes to his receivers. Both D.J. Hall and Keith Brown are nursing injuries. John Parker is good for 4-5 interceptions/overthrows/misreads per game. It will be interesting to see if he can keep up his current streak of at least 200 yards passing per game.
Also, interesting to see how many times (1) The Volunteer Band plays Rocky Top after Fulmer eats a hotdog; and (2) The over/under on the number of F-bombs Coach Mike "do you like my gold chain" Shula drops on the sidelines.
3 Beer.
Washington at Cal (FSN): Cal is good. I'm sure they'll win.
4:45
Rutgers at Pittsburgh (ESPN2): The only thing that is less interesting to me than a PAC-10 battle, is a Big East battle (unless one team is Louisville and the other is West Virginia).
6:45
Georgia Tech at Clemson (ESPN): Now, this should be a good game. Both teams are fairly matched in their ability to follow up lights-out football with "Holy Crap Why Are We Here????" football. Who knows whats going to happen. 3 Beer.
By the way, Mike "Dumbass" Patrick is commentating this game. That adds another beer to choke down the frustration of having to listen to him let loose with completely incorrect analysis and stats. Read JCCW's recap of the Florida/AU game. There is no limit to Mike Patrick's ineptness.
8:00
Fresno State at LSU (ESPN2): This appears to have the makings of a pretty good game. I don't think Fresno State is as good as they've been in the past, but they usually play teams tough. 2 Beer.
ESPN once again shows its inability to judge commentating talent by assigning this game to Ron Franklin and Ed Cunningham. Pathetic. ESPN, two suggestions: (1) Please, for the love of all that is good and righteous, put Franklin and Cunningham back on ESPN; and (2) Mike Patrick should be paired up with Bob Davie to create the worst commentating duo ever. That would be so horrible the fabric of space and time would be ripped open. Or something.
Hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable weekend.
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