Cover up...

In what has unfairly been described as the most heinous act of violence over the weekend, the "Melee" between Miami and FIU has been dissected and discussed by numerous pundits.

However, all of these sanctimonious talking heads have completely shut down any conversation of an equally stunning fight. On Saturday night, football players for both Dartmouth and Holy Cross discarded all rules of civility and severely thrashed one another.

According to sources, the Holy Cross players taunted Dartmouth players in a most dissatisfactory manner following a 24-21 victory over the "The Big Green". Specifically, the Holy Cross players "celebrated atop the Dartmouth D painted on the field". Thereafter, the Dartmouth players gave some Holy Cross players a good drubbing. This, of course, is not surprising considering these hooligans' choice of mascot, Keggy the Keg.

Holy Cross player Finington Wentworth, III, was visibly shaken after the fight, stating "It is difficult for one to understand why this fight began. We were merely reacting to the Dartmouth players' unruly chants that 'That's allright, that's okay, you'll be polishing our silver someday.'"

Reporters attempted to contact Dartmouth players, but could not be reached because they were "bummed out that their trust fund payments were reduced" as a means of discipline.

Holy Cross has (predictibly) attempted to whitewash all acts of wrongdoing on the part of its players. Holy Cross Sports Information Director Charles Bare stomped on the tradition of Holy Cross, stating, "we did not see anything from Holy Cross players that warranted disciplinary action." One cannot see what one does not want to see, Mr. Bare.

In contrast, Dartmouth Athletic Director, Josie Harper, showed the spirit required for the situation, stating, "We're not going to be docile on this. I'm going to talk to as many people as I can.".

We can only pray that she finds enough people to talk to.

In the meantime, the question still remains as to why such a blood thirsty event is completely shut out of the public eye, while a comparably innocuous "skirmish" between Miami and FIU is blown out of proportion.

The answer, of course, is racism.

Article brought to you at the direction of Larry Coker and Lamar Thomas