Friday, August 31, 2007

Guide to Football and Beer Drinking: Week 1/Part II

5:45

Oklahoma State at Georgia (ESPN2)




You like that? Well, neither do I. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. But this is what "Pundits" are predicting. They aren't counting on one thing: Matt Stafford. This is a kid that benches kegs and is secure enough in his masculinity to spoon other men. He calls Jared Lorenzen skinny. Do you really think a guy like this is going to be scared of a team formerly coached by this guy? Uh, no. Basically, if any Oklahoma State DE tries to tackle him, Matt is simply going to eat the defender (because running is for dummies).

2 Beers

6:45

Kansas State @ Auburn (ESPN)

Contrary to any conclusions you may have reached through ESPN's marketing decisions, Auburn is, indeed, playing K-State Saturday night. I know, I know, you thought the Cal/Tennessee game was your only choice. But no, there is another alternative. I've already written how I think this game will go: Just Want Ugly Win. Since that posting, however, we've learned (1) that Brad Lester may not play and (2) that two freshman will be protecting Brandon Cox's blindside on the OL. You know, Brandon Cox? The guy that looked like this most of last season? That can't be good. Look, I'm going to be drunk Saturday night. The only question is whether I'm going to be Mr. Happy Drunk or Dear Lord Put Me Out of My Misery Drunk. Lets hope for the former.

12 Beers and 1 1/5th of Vodka

7:00

Tennessee at Cal (ABC)

This should be a very, very good game; but let's be honest. It's opening night for Auburn. This game could be mini-Ditkas vs. God and I still wouldn't be watching it. Sorry.

Sips during Commercial Breaks

1 comment:

Golfintiger said...

Funny stuff about Stafford. Just seeing pictures of him makes me wonder how in the hell they killed us. Good news is we play in Athens this year!

WDE!